Church of Euthanasia

You know that slogan: “Save the Planet, Kill Yourself?” It sounds like a joke, but it’s not. The Church of Euthanasia is an american religious organisation founded in 1992 by Chris Korda and Robert Kimberk. It’s a non-profit educational foundation devoted to restoring balance between humans and other species on Earth. They believe the only way to accomplish this is by a massive voluntary population reduction. Humans are problematic here as the human population is increasing by a million every four days. The Church’s only commandment is: “Thou Shalt not Procreate.”

Let’s go back to the voluntary population reduction. The key word here is “voluntary.” Murder and involuntary sterilisation are forbidden by church doctrine. The four main pillars of the Church are: suicide, abortion, cannibalism (of the already dead) and sodomy (sexual acts not intended for procreation). These are the acceptable ways to contribute to human extermination.

The Church was officially recognised by the state of Delaware in 1994 followed by tax exemption a year later.

In 1995 the Church purchased a billboard with a phone number for a Suicide Assistance Hot-Line including the message: “Helping you every step of the way! Thousands helped! How about you?” The idea was to play pre-recorded messages with suicide instructions for the callers, but the phone company never actually activated the line as they recognised their intentions. The Church’s website used to have instructions on committing suicide by asphyxiation using helium, but the pages were removed in 2003 after a woman used these instructions to commit suicide.

In order to become a member all you have to do is choose not to procreate. That’s all. Procreation, on the other hand, means guaranteed excommunication. If you get pregnant and want to remain a member, abortion is required. They advise avoiding pregnancy by faithfully adhering to sodomy, one of their pillars.

Committing suicide is not required for members, but if you want to, they advise you to do that after you’ve officially joined the Church. That way, you automatically become a saint. You should also leave a note thanking and/or blaming the Church for your suicide. If you’ve already procreated, you can still join by not procreating again. What matters is the commitment.

In December 2001, the Church sparked some controversy concerning 9/11 attacks. Korda released a musing video called “I Like to Watch” which was a mashup of techno with clips of porn, sports and the 9/11 attacks. As Korda herself put it: “Politically, it felt good to see Americans dying for a change. There was a sense of justice, of the ‘chickens coming home to roost.’ In gender terms, the huge gash made by the plane was obviously female. I had witnessed a Freudian drama on a national scale: America’s penis had been turned into a vagina.”

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Sources:

Church of Euthanasia
Vice
Wikipedia

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